14 Days Clean

A quick post to mark a good start . . .

At the end of today, a total of 14 days clean will have passed, and without regret.

It can't go without saying that it hasn't had its trials, but there is a feeling of relief associated with it, maybe even a little pride. Enough time has gone by now that the aspects that are to be 'missed' are being felt, but the drive is too strong. Besides, thats 2 weeks of faith that my beloved wife has in me that wasn't there at the one day mark. That's important to me; She is important to me.

The DUI has been kept quiet for all but a few. I have thus far only told the people that needed to be told for some direct reason, and the others that know, were told by one of them. There are three exceptions, and I have my reasons for notifying them. For the most part, however, I have wanted to keep this a secret. Why? Not because I don't want anyone to know. Not because I am ashamed of it. Not because it's social suicide in the wrong crowd. So why then?

Faith. People don't have it in me anymore. They're tired of hearing one thing, and seeing it end up the total opposite. That's exactly how it played out as I got into this mess, and it's been that way for a long time.

"I'm quitting.", followed by slurp 'n burp.

You wouldn't have any faith either if you heard me say it as many times as I did. Hell, I was starting to not even have any, and I was the one I was talking about! The only way to do this was to just do it. So that's what I did. No more talk, just do. Or in this case, don't. Let's face it, faith is a powerful force.

On to a jagged tangent for a moment... Someone asked me, "Secret... What the hell are you talking about secret? You put it on the web!"

My response to this is simple: The fact that I have told the entire world (if they all found themselves here for some really odd reason) really gains me nothing in the faith or pride arenas. Nobody reading this really knows who I am unless they already know me and it was in their cards to be privy. For them, they already knew about the entire thing anyway. It's here in case you can get something out of it. The only thing I am getting from posting this is some shit off my chest that I just have to say, but nobody to say it to. Not quite sure what that says exactly . . .

Ok, so long story short for this is simple. I'm happier now. I'm still in a world of shit, but I know that when it finally lets go of me and I come out the other side, I will be that much better for it. I'll never have to look this demon in the eye again. And neither will the ones that I love, and love me. At least not directly. As for you, to me this indicates a spark of hope, even for those of you that may have it worse than I did (and somewhat still do).

There is aftershock, and plenty to go around, but that's a whole 'nother post for some other day. I'll of course spew more as the events unveil . . .